Narc Based PTSD & PNSD:

Sat Dec 17, 2022 3:14 pm

I was diagnosed with PTSD in Feb. 2018. My PTSD is as a result of having to live (due to lifelong disabilities/lack of finances) with my parents, till after Mum passed. Both parents died in 2016, Mum in April & Dad in August.

My PTSD is due to the fact that Mum was a Narcissistic nightmare, not that she died. I was always the family Scapegoat. Not a role I'd wish on anyone. It's true hell. Only other's who've been in that situation can really understand/relate. I had over 23 years of daily hell, after older (able bodied) brother moved out. By the time Mum passed, I was 37. So a lot of mental damage was done in those years. It was chronic stress (24/7/365) & suicidal thoughts for over 10 years.

Narcissistic Abuse is, pretty much, all done behind closed doors. So others don't see or believe you when you can finally speak out about it. Most just can't see it in their friend/relative etc... As a Scapegoat you already feel like a total outsider. Your the only one NOT willing to lie/manipulate/follow the Narcissist etc... So we end up having to constantly walk on egg shells, I did. We suffer chronic stress, sleeping problems & often end up suffering from PTSD & PNSD (Post Narcisstic Stress Disorder - same problems as PTSD but caused by being envolved with a Narcissist).

PTSD/PNSD is an actual change in the brain & how it functions, especially resulting in emotional problems. We develop: sleep problems/flashbacks/memory issues/unwanted & traumatic memories/hyperarousal/concentration issues/reliving the trauma/avoidance.

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When the Narcissist dies:

Based on personal experience, which for some that know me they may find this hard to learn/know, but I was exstatic/happy/glad/relieved when my Narc Mum died (April 10th 2016). The abuse, which is what it is afterall, is finally over with. Life can return to, or in my case, start a new. Free of all that held you back. Suicidal thoughts lessen or are eliminated (depends on your PTSD, which you'll 99.9% have now).

Certainly if you fit the Scapegoat role, get therapy asap. It's great to have someone impartial, that can think clearly. As during & after abuse you can't really think straight. So many thoughts/memories/conflicting emotions etc... Other's that knew the Narcissist may be devastated/sad at death, including on anniversary days. But, Scapegoat especially, were relieved/happy, just as we were when being told/or found out about the death. But certainly if it was a family member, then you may decide to mark the anniversary days on your social media. As they are big days in your life.